


Shack 90

by Speranza



Category: South Park, due South
Genre: Canadian Shack, Crossover, Doggy Style, M/M, rude humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-29
Updated: 2001-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:10:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speranza/pseuds/Speranza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><cite>I'm goin' down Due South Park gonna have myself a time,</cite><br/>Friendly faces everywhere; humble folks without temptation,<br/>I'm goin' down Due South Park gonna leave my woes behind,<br/>Ample parking day or night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"<br/>I'm headin' down Due South Park gonna see if I can't unwind</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shack 90

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the original 2001 Canadian Shack challenge.

  
I'm goin' down Due South Park gonna have myself a time,  
Friendly faces everywhere; humble folks without temptation,  
I'm goin' down Due South Park gonna leave my woes behind,  
Ample parking day or night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"  
I'm headin' down Due South Park gonna see if I can't unwind,  
I like fucking Mountie back, in my li'l Canadian shack.  
So come on down Due South Park, and meet some friends of mine….  


SCENE: A CANADIAN SHACK.  
 _(Enter BENTON FRASER and STANLEY RAYMOND KOWALSKI, both wearing parkas.)_     
BEN _(pushing through the door, tugging a reluctant DIEFENBAKER on a leash)_ : Just stop it, okay? You're making me ill!  
STAN: _(pointing)_ Dude, I'm serious! That dog is gay!  
BEN: No way! He's part wolf! He's the toughest dog in Inuvik!  
  _(BEN shuts and locks the cabin door behind them, and instantly DIEFENBAKER is pawing at it, whining loudly.)_     
STAN: _(shaking head)_ : Toughest to get off, maybe. That dog is a big gay homosexual, Ben.  
BEN: He's just confused.  
STAN: Confused, my ass. That's the third time he's run away. You never shoulda took him to Big Gay Al's Inuit Veterinary Emporium--  
BEN: But he had worms up his ass!  
STAN: Yeah, and now he's got--  
  _(From outside, the sounds of frantic barking. DIEFENBAKER goes nuts, howling and scratching at the door like he's going to smash through.)_     
BEN: What the hell's that? Grab his leash!  
  _(STAN grabs the leash and BEN opens the door. In the distance, a dark shape is barreling through the snow toward them, barking furiously. It appears to be a Black Lab.)_     
BEN: _(squinting across the mountain)_ That's Turnbull's dog--Trudeau!  
STAN: Turnbull's big _gay_ dog, Trudeau! _(He sighs.)_ Oh, for the day when Diefenbaker liked pussy...  
BEN: _(frowning)_ I don't think a dog can ever be properly said to like pussy, Stan.  
STAN: _(nodding grimly)_ Yeah, like I said. Gay dog.  
  _(As the dog approaches, we see that he is dragging something behind him which is leaving a deep trail in the snow. As he nears, we see that it is RENTON TURNBULL, who is--well--rather blue and dead, as the dog's leash has gotten rather tightly wound around his neck, strangling him.)_  
BEN: It--oh dear, it's Turnbull!  
STAN: Oh my God, you killed Renny! You bastard!     
 _(With a vicious jerk, DIEFENBAKER pulls and the leash slides out of STAN's hands. Instantly, Dief is crouched on the ground, and Trudeau is behind him, fucking him furiously.)_    
STAN _(jumping up and down, nearly hysterical)_ : Stop that! Stop that! Ben, Trudeau's fucking our dog!  
BEN: _(watching curiously)_ Yes. And he seems to be enjoying it.  
STAN: He...? _(STAN stops jumping and watches more closely; DIEFENBAKER is nearly purring with contentment.)_ Okay, yeah, he's enjoying it.  
BEN: He's _really_ enjoying it.  
STAN: Huh.  
BEN: You know, Stan--being gay is just part of nature, and a beautiful thing.  
STAN: Oh yeah?  
BEN: Yes.  
STAN: Well, we're in nature, here, right? This is nature?  
BEN: Indeed.  
STAN: _(grabbing the sleeve of BEN's parka and dragging him back toward the cabin)_ So, c'mere. Maybe you got worms up your ass, too.  
BEN: _(smiling)_ Oh, I'm sure I do, Stan.


End file.
